3 Reasons Men Go To Therapy in New York
Most men in the U.S. aren’t taking advantage of the benefits of therapy. However, the most recent data shows that between 2021 and 2022 the percentage of men receiving mental health treatment jumped by approximately 33%. This can be explained by a multitude of factors including:
Less social stigma
Increased uncertainty in the world
Increased accessibility of mental health services
And more
It’s a trend that really excites me as a man and a therapist. That is because I know that taking that step is a difficult one when most men receive constant messaging from a young age that showing vulnerability and emotionality makes you less masculine. As a male therapist who works with a lot of male clients as they get more connected with their internal process and confront life’s challenges, I see that many of my male clients come to therapy for similar reasons that can shed light on what you or the men in your life may be wrestling with.
Reasons to Go to Therapy for Men
Emotional Disconnection
Many men find it difficult to answer the question:
“What are you feeling?”
Rigid gender messaging that tells boys to express themselves through action before words and rewards lack of emotionality as “toughness” leads to men being twice as likely to experience alexithymia than women. Alexithymia is a difficulty with detecting or describing one’s emotions and can be developed through chronic repression of emotion. Emotions become blurry and diffuse. They know they’re in a bad mood but can’t explain whether they are feeling angry, sad, jealous, dismissed, rejected, etc. When they can’t rely on emotional information these men double down on the parts of themselves that were rewarded as children. They become heady thinkers and rely on logic to confront the challenges they face in life. Or they learn to act on instinct and impulse in crisis. These are valuable skills that may get them far in their career, but as they mature they find that something is missing. They feel an emptiness or disconnection not just with themselves but with others as well. They schedule an appointment hoping therapy can help them to connect with the well of emotion that they can sense but cannot access.
Relational Struggles
The way men are taught to relate to our own emotions has a profound impact on how we relate to others as well. An experience of Alexithymia can lead men to adopt insecure attachment patterns which make developing and sustaining long-term relationships challenging. There is a direct connection between being unable to identify and feel your own emotions and identifying and empathizing with another person’s emotions. Whether I work with men individually or in couples therapy, they often report feeling overwhelmed by their partner’s emotional needs. As well as being unable to ask for what they need and feeling incompetent when trying to express themselves to their partner, their family, or close friends. Because of this they often try to avoid all three of these which ultimately leads to conflict. Because of struggles with emotional connection, the men I work with often struggle with feelings of isolation. Friendships may feel superficial. They may feel distant from their family or have trouble opening up to a romantic partner. They begin working with me to increase their EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and explore their inner world so they can share it with others and build stronger relationships.
Addressing Trauma in Therapy for Men
American men tend to be given a social script that promotes individualism and independence. You are expected to stand on your own and asking for help is seen as a weakness. In one study, 40% of men said they were told that “men don’t complain about health struggles.” These messages cause men to adopt coping mechanisms that can have many benefits. But the downside of these messages is a sense of isolation from a young age. Suffering an overwhelming experience in isolation is the foundation of trauma and thus many men are at an increased risk of a negative event becoming a traumatic event. The isolation and inability to share their pain with others is thought to be one contributing factor to why men die from suicide at a rate 3.7 times higher than women. Men often begin therapy with me at our New York-based therapy practice because they are holding these traumatic experiences on their own. These men see therapy as a way of finally getting support in a safe, private space where they won’t be shamed or punished for their vulnerability.
Counseling for Men Is a Space to Redefine
More and more men are exploring how therapy can help them feel more connected to themselves and those in their lives. As a therapist with expertise in men’s issues, I am passionate about creating a space where men can take a look at the messages they have received about a narrow definition of masculinity. So they can connect with their own unique sense of themselves. One that includes more self-acceptance, stronger relationships, and a clear vision of what they want for the future.
Get Support & Find Your Unique Self in Therapy for Men in New York
It's encouraging to see more men recognizing the value of therapy and taking steps to prioritize their mental health. At ATD Therapy in New York, we understand the unique challenges men face and provide a safe and supportive space to address them. If you or the men in your life are considering therapy remember it can help with emotional disconnection, relational struggles, trauma, redefining masculinity, and more.
If you're ready to prioritize your mental health and embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth, reach out to us at ATD Therapy:
Contact us to schedule a consultation and explore how therapy can support you.
Begin sessions with our experienced therapists who specialize in men's issues.
Start your journey towards greater emotional well-being and fulfillment.
Other Therapy Services Our Therapists Offer In NYC
At our therapy practice located in New York, our compassionate therapists provide an array of services to cater to diverse needs. Our counseling offerings encompass couples counseling, counseling for relationships and dating, support for postpartum depression, anxiety management, depression counseling, assistance with life transitions, and enhancing self-esteem.
